After the VMA’s the other day, Pete Wentz of Fallout Boy got into a fight protecting his lip syncing girlfriend Ashley Simpson. Apparently a bodyguard shoved Pete and Ashley or some crap. To be honest I don’t really know and/or care, but what I do think is pretty hilarious is the thought of little Wentz fighting a bouncer.

Please, indulge me for a moment. Picture scrappy little Peter, long greased hair, black eye liner and a Decaydance hoodie punching a giant, muscle-ripped bodyguard. Its quite the site to think about, its like a woodchuck attacking a rhino or an Asian midget scrapping with Michael J Fox… Ok so the later comparison has no merit, but anytime I can imagine an a) midget and b) Michael J Fox in the same scenario, I run with the opportunity.

This brings me to my point, who are the top people you would like to see in a fight? Well, I have the Radio Kills answer to that question and as we all know, Radio Kills is always right:

1) Lindsay Lohan and Mary-Kate Olsen
The battle for the skinniest girl in the entire world. These two would square off and see who could do more coke than the other or whatever it is that girls do to get skinny these days. Whatever it is, it would be a wonderful fight to watch and I would probably have a field day blogging about it the next morning… A boy can only dream.

2) Paris Hilton vs. Perez Hilton
Lets face it, we all are getting a little tired of confusing these two’s names. It makes it more difficult that they talk, act and look almost identical as well. Now now, I know what your thinking, isn’t Perez a dude? Well not really, but if you want to hammer out the details I suppose you’d win that argument, but if you ask me they should just fight it out for the right to the name.

3) Papa Smurf vs. Woody The Woodpecker
We all know ‘em, we all love ‘em, but who really is the better Saturday morning cartoon veteran? These are the founding fathers of waking up on the weekends, the leaders of the cereal consumption revolution. They are the reason that kids would not get wasted at an earlier age, after all you needed your energy to get up early and watch. Lets have these fella’s fight it out for the king cartoon. Lets end this madness once and for all!!!

Questions? Comments? Email Jay here.