I recently came to the conclusion that my shoe wearing abilities is quite sub par and I blame Lyrics Born for this discovery. XLR8R recently released a video titled “Confessions of a Shoe Ho” featuring LB, where he takes the site on a journey into the dark world of “shoe whoring”. In an effort to step up my shoe game in honor of LB, I have compiled a list of five ways for me to get out of my life-long shoe slump.

5) Stop shopping at the Shoe Pavilion.

Now, I know what you’re thinking “but Jason, they have a killer sale on some tah-die-for hush puppie rip offs, a must have for this summer season!” and trust me, I hear you loud and clear. But the harsh reality is that a shoe ho does not shop at The Shoe Pavilion, and if we all want to get on this level, we must leave the pavilion to rust.

4) Stop wearing shoes with holes in them

Ok so the shoes above are not mine, merely a depiction of a holy shoe of sorts but the fact remains that hole-filled shoes are a no-no in the shoe game. Apparently having holes in your shoes became uncool sometime around the late 90’s and I just didn’t get the memo. That said I heard they were making a 4th “The Sandlot” so I am really hoping for a shoe-hole resurgence.